My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I'm having to shit out rocks
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
