i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
There r osticjed everywhere
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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