you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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