Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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