I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I've blown a few things in my day
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
