Me too!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
