um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Holy shit dude........stairs
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
