is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She told me I should be a condom model.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
