i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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