Me. At least after what I've been through.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
