There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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