I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
