I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
