I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
