Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
