it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
