Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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