I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
