Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
