He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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