Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
