I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Randomize
