i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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