3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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