Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
