fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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