Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
