I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
thus making me awesome and them whores
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
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