So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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