You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
