And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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