I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
