i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
