My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
