the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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