Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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