there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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