Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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