I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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