so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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