Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
