Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
