She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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