You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Of course I have a pirate flag
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
