I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
