I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
