Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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