It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
