Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
