My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
