this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
tell me about the fingering
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