But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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