the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
