Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
